Criticism. Isn't it weird? Isn't it also weird the way weird is spelled? I before e, right?
I don't really understand why we criticize. I mean, shouldn't we as people, be lifting others up and encouraging them instead of pointing out the things we don't personally like about them? How do we expect people to be happy and grow in a way that is natural and right for them in order for them to be the authentic person they are supposed to be? I think about this regarding my kids a lot. Sometimes I feel pressured by others (annoying) to be treating or raising my kids differently. I don't think pushing them to do things is the answer, because I think that everybody is different. No shit, right? And everybody is ready at different times. I think pushing when they're not ready can be traumatic and can even stunt what maybe was starting to develop.
Just like we are supposed to accept out lives for what they are and just be grateful that we even have them, instead of looking next door and wishing for something else. Accept things and people for what they are and not what you want them to be. If you don't, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
This could also apply to authors and the reviews and ratings we get. I have actually had a decent amount (for how long my book has been out, anyway) of really great reviews done by really sweet people who enjoy reading romance books, so I'm not complaining. But sometimes it can be hard to take a step back and say ... Hey, you know what? I wrote it for me, to get this story out of my head and onto paper. And by me doing that, I became who I am, who I'm supposed to be. Whether people like it or not doesn't matter, because I'm living my life and writing is one place that I won't have any regrets about. Because I did it, I put myself out there knowing that I would be criticized. I knew it. If you're an author, you knew it too. But we are so fucking creative that being butt-hurt once in awhile doesn't stop us. Nothing can.
Here's a quote from The War of Art I like to read about criticism
"The professional loves her work. She is invested in it wholeheartedly. But she does not forget that the work is not her. Her artistic self contains many works and many performances. Already the next is percolating inside her. The next will be better, and the one after that better still.
The professional self-validates. She is tough-minded. In the face of indifference or adulation, she assesses her stuff coldly and objectively. Where it fell short, she'll improve it. Where it triumphed, she'll make it better still. She'll work harder. She'll be back tomorrow.
The professional gives and ear to criticism, seeking to learn and grow. But she never forgets that Resistance is using criticism against her on a far more diabolical level. Resistance enlists criticism to reinforce the fifth column of fear already at work inside the artist's head, seeking to break her will and crack her dedication. The professional does not fall for this. Her resolution, before all others, remains: No matter what, I will never let resistance beat me."
If you are an author and you haven't read The War of Art, you are really missing out. I mean really. It's a really easy read for an awesomely inspirational book. And the author is Steven Pressfield, the same author who wrote The Legend of Bagger Vance.
Resistance is inside of all of us and it doesn't want us to stray from the clan, it doesn't want us to put ourselves out there and express what we need to express. But, when you do it and beat Resistance, you are the bad ass.
Totally ADD right?
Peace out!
Pam <3
